She's Slept with More Men than You Think
1 in 3 women tell you the wrong number.
When to worry: Only if she's potentially carrying STDs.
How to act: Keep your mouth shut. Women are more concerned with keeping the past in the past than men are. She wants to focus on you-so let her.
If you absolutely must know, first make her feel comfortable by sharing stories from your past. Show her that disclosure is welcome. If she suspects you'll be disapproving, you'll be less likely to find out the real answer.
She's Cheated on You
She cheated: 32%
She's loyal: 68%
When to worry If her schedule becomes irregular, or she wants more alone time, or she stops wanting to look nice around you and no longer flirts with you. Women tend to cheat because they are emotionally vacating the relationship. They want to solidify the feeling that they're ready to leave.
Why Did She Cheat?
My sex life sucks: 7%
I'm not in love anymore: 19%
I can't resist the guy I'm having an affair with-we have the best sex!: 10%
I'm bored and needed some excitement: 17%
I wanted to feel desirable: 28%
I had other reasons: 19%
Who's the Guy?
A friend: 20%
A coworker: 10%
One of your friends: 1%
An ex: 13%
Some guy she met out: 12%
Someone else: 44%
How to act: Even if she has become distant, it doesn't mean she's cheating-so don't accuse her, or you'll probably never repair the broken trust. Instead, tell her you worry that you two don't talk as much as you did before, and follow up by mentioning your own shortcomings.
Once she knows you're serious about looking at your problems, she'll reciprocate with hers. As you talk, use words like "we" and "us"; a study found that couples who did that in a fight fared better than couples who used lots of "you" and "I." If she isn't cheating and you want to fix the relationship, you now understand what's wrong and can draw up a plan with her to solve it.
She Fakes Her Orgasms
She's faked it: 48%
It's always real: 52
How Often?
Once in a while: 35%
About half the time: 16%
Every time: 5%
When to worry: If her enthusiasm for sex is waning. A study found that 63 percent of the women who faked an orgasm didn't initiate the sex; 29 percent hadn't wanted to romp at all.
How to act: First, know this: Men think an orgasm is the end-all, be-all, but for her, sex can be satisfying by itself. Many women gave mundane reasons for faking an O: They were bored, they wanted their partner to be able to orgasm, they wanted to spare their partner's feelings. If you think something's wrong, bring it up casually. Discuss it outside the bedroom so she doesn't feel pressured, and ask if there's anything new she'd like to try. The more you can meet her needs, the better it will be for both of you.
She Contacts Her Ex Without Telling You
When to worry: Doing this is about as common (and annoying) as Mafia Wars. In fact, 75 percent of people were likely to Facebook-friend past sexual partners. Be concerned only if she's telling her ex something she wouldn't want you to read or hear (like anything sexual). Look for the telltale signs: clicking out of a window or quickly closing her laptop when you enter the room.
How to act: Don't monitor her online; that'll freak her out and lead to more secrecy. Instead, encourage openness by telling her whenever an ex reaches out to you, and describe what you wrote back. You're showing her you have nothing to hide. Now she won't, either.
She Lusts After Other Guys
She sometimes fantasizes about other men during sex: 32%
She always thinks about other men during sex: 3%
She's thinking only about you: 65%
When to worry: Never. It's perfectly normal to think about other people during sex with your current partner. It's a good way to add an erotic charge. It doesn't necessarily mean she has deeper feelings for the other person.
How to act: Do nothing. But if you really are worrying that you're far from her mind, flip on the lights. "Out of sight, out of mind". Turning the light on lets you establish eye contact, which is one of the most powerful ways to focus attention. Plus, because many women don't feel comfortable in less-flattering light, she'll be relying on you to make her feel comfortable with her body. (Hint: Be generous with your compliments.)
She Gets Off Without You
She masturbates a few times a week: 25%
She masturbates a few times a month: 23%
She's watching porn without you at least once a month: 30%
When to worry: Never! Consider it a job well done. Women tend to masturbate more when they have more sex. "If she's been having more sex, or better sex, she's likely to keep wanting it."
How to act: Suggest watching porn together. If she's already indulging herself, chances are she's up for something new but might be waiting for you to take the initiative. Watching porn can make women more comfortable about trying new things and expressing their desires.
She Isn't Turned On By You
When to worry: If she's become less physical or seems less excited during sex, you may have a problem. A scary 42 percent of women said their men are sometimes unappealing, and 3 percent are always turned off by their guys. Why?:
He's clueless in bed: 18%
I'm not physically attracted to him: 16%
He's a selfish lover: 13%
He has bad hygiene: 11%
He can't sustain an erection: 9%
He has a small penis: 7%
Other: 26%
How to act: Something has changed since those early glory days. So make a list-no, really-of what you've done differently: Now fix each item one by one; she'll be pleasantly surprised when you reach the one that bugged her. Now don't backslide. Men have all these dirty little habits, and if women had the same faults, men wouldn't want to come near us.
She Wants You to Earn More Money
When to worry: We ain't saying she's a gold digger, but a study found that spouses who place a high value on money and possessions are up to 40 percent more likely to report financial problems in their relationship. And a wife's materialism can directly affect her husband's marital satisfaction. A husband's materialism is also likely to affect only his own marital satisfaction.
How to act: Who doesn't want more money? But most women are going to be realistic about it. Just make sure to show her that the money you do have can be enjoyed, and she's your top priority.
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